This is pretty stupid, but kinda funny too.
MINAS TIRITH (AP) – The city of Minas Tirith has been abuzz today over the
news that 'The Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King,' while receiving
11 nominations including Best Picture and Best Director, did not receive
any nominations for acting.
"Eleven nominations?" said Pippin Took, of the Shire. "Well, that's good news."
His friend Meriadoc Brandybuck responded by swatting him over the head with
the newspaper and protesting, "But the cast is a part of this movie! Aren't
they?"
Their kinsman Frodo Baggins shared Brandybuck's dismay. Upon reading the
list of nominations, Baggins commented with an ironic chuckle, "They've
left out one of the chief characters: the cast. I want to hear more about
them." Waxing solemn and soulful, he added, "The movie wouldn't have got
far without the cast."
"You almost don't want to watch the awards ceremony," contributed Baggins'
gardener and loyal valet, Samwise Gamgee, "because how can it be happy? How
can the awards go right when so much bad has been nominated? Folks in that
Academy had lots of chances of voting for these actors, only they didn't."
Legolas Greenleaf, of the Mirkwood realm, commented somewhat cryptically on
the Academy's choices, "A red sun rises. Lame decisions have been made this
night." When asked to clarify his opinion, he told reporters that he had
not the heart, for the grief was still too near, and retired for a walk in
the forest.
His companion, Gimli son of Gloin, had sharper remarks to make upon the
chosen nominees. "Mystic River? What madness drew them there? You'll find
more cheer in a graveyard!"
But wizard Gandalf the White urged a more optimistic approach. "Do not be
too eager to deal out Oscars in judgement," he advised. "That is not for us
to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the Oscars we are given."
Meanwhile, his colleague Saruman the formerly-White was in favor of
retaliation against the Academy: "Too long have those peasants stood
against us," Saruman said, referring to the Academy's failure to give any
fantasy film the Best Picture Oscar yet. "Leave none alive! To war! There
will be no dawn for film critics!"
Treebeard, of the Ents, told reporters after much deliberation and
exchanging of long names, that he was in agreement with this proposed
course of action. "There is no curse in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of
Men for this treachery," he declared. "My business is with Beverly Hills
tonight. With heads made of cotton candy and rock."
"I do not doubt their hearts," Eomer of Rohan conceded. "Only the size of
their brains." He then returned to the task of loading up forty of his men
and horses with toilet paper and Maps to the Stars' Homes, for a "secret
midnight not give details about.
At least one individual, calling himself Smeagol, claimed to be making
plans to steal the Oscar statuettes. "Oscar is sooo pretty, sooo golden,"
said Smeagol. "We will take the statuesss once the Hollywood snobses are
dead! Ye-esss, precious!" He then quickly added, groveling at the feet of
reporters, "No! No! We were only joking! Smeagol wouldn't hurt a fly! Nice
movie industry." He crawled away before he could be questioned further.
Still others appeared not to care about the snub. Lady Eowyn of Rohan said
with a shrug, "The women of this country learned long ago that those
without Oscar nominations may still get dates to awards ceremonies. I fear
neither critics nor fans." Lord Boromir, a native of Minas Tirith,
dismissed the concerns, claiming, "Gondor has no actors. Gondor needs no
actors."
But overall the mood was one of mild disgust. As Lord Aragorn put it to
reporters, "The day may come when the Academy is able to find their ass
with a flashlight. But this is not that day."
AROUND THE WORLD IN 3 WEEKS
there are links to pictures all over this entry! please do take a look, I spent a lot of time uploading them. :) no india pics though- accidentally deleted those.
Africa is almost the exact opposite of India. India is very cramped, due to its population density. Africa's population is spread out, and you will never have the problem of bumping into people while walking. I mentioned that people in India dont seem too sociable, right? Africans (or the majority of the people I met, excluding
3 extremely rude shop owners ) are very easy going, very charming, and never seen without a
silly grin or heard without a witty joke.
We got into Nairobi at around midnight. I was still groggy from my nap on the plane but I managed to get through customs fairly easily. I got a cab ( a van this time) to bring me to the
hotel. Mom was already there, and had been there five hours earlier (She got on the earlier flight while I got stuck in Dubai). We had the windows down the whole 45 minutes to the hotel and the climate was wonderful. The breeze was cool, and the air was probably the freshest Ive ever breathed in my life. I didnt see much of Nairobi that night though.
It turned out that mom and her team had the day off so we kickstarted our Africa trip with a safari. A REAL safari. This was the whole deal:
a van with a detachable roof, driving down dusty African roads for hours, spotting wildlife in their
natural habitats. No lions though, much to my disappointment. We did see almost everything else:
impalas, hartebeasts,
zebras, rhinos, chimps, baboons, crocodiles, giraffes, warthogs and
ostriches. I thought it was just the greatest thing. A lot of "oohs" and "ahs" were exclaimed that day.
We drove out of the park and headed for dinner at Nairobi's famous "CARNIVORE" eatery. Its a huge building surrounding a massive
barbecue spit in the center. What was on the menu, you ask? Well, just about everything we saw at the park. Along with regular beef, pork, lamb and chicken, I had hartebeast meatballs, zebra steak, and crocodile barbeque. Hartebeast tastes like beef with a bitter aftertaste. Zebra is bland and tough, I enjoyed it the least. Crocodile tastes like spicy chicken. It was an interesting cultural experience, but it aint gonna happen again anytime soon. I must admit that I had to supress a few gags here and there. Thank God for DAWA; vodka, honey, water and sugar; and the
african beer TUSKER, or else I dont think Id've been able to keep anything down.
adios amigos!
